Stupid lies
by notagoodplace4gods
Summary: Robin could never take his mask off and look at his best friend in the eyes. He could never confide in Wally about his past or the nightmares he had most nights or the Flying Grayson's poster he has in his drawer for years now because he could never bring himself to hang it on his bedroom wall. He could never tell Wally he loved him, he could never grab his face in his hands and ki


A/N: Talking could have saved these guys from a lot of angst, but they're stupid and emotionally compromised. I'm also stupid and emotionally compromised because stupid birdflash ruined my life.

Wally doesn't know Robin's ID in this because I wanted ANGST. I also gave Wally a concussion because MORE ANGST.

It's a fill for this kinkmeme prompt: yjanon-meme . livejournal 676 . html?thread=1621412#t1621412

This has nothing to do with my other fic 'stupid boyfriends', but I decided to start a series of unrelated birdflash of one-shots whose titles are "stupid sth" because:  
1 - I suck at titles  
2 - DICK AND WALLY ARE STUPID DORKS AND I HATE THEM SO MUCH ugh stupid birdflash go away  
I'm feeling so clever right now.

xxx

"KF." Robin's voice is raw and desperate, but he doesn't care, he doesn't have the time to care because Wally was hit on the head pretty badly and the idiot keeps dozing off. "Wally, stay awake, come on. You're supposed to be this big genius, right? So tell me what happens to concussed people who can't stay awake?"

Wally groans, but opens his eyes, fighting against the inhuman weight of his eyelashes.

"I'm okay, just... Just tired."

"Yeah, okay, you're totally fine." He scoffs because he's tired too, but he isn't the one giving up, is he? "But, still, falling asleep on me is just rude, dude. Are you gonna make me carry you bridal style to the ship when the team finds us? Artemis will never let you live it down."

Wally smiles and it's small, pained and so different from his usual smiles, it's wrong and it makes Robin's chest tighten.

"I'm glad you're here with me, Rob." Wally isn't supposed to sound like this, he's not supposed to look so weak and wounded and dying.

"What was that?" Robin cleans away the blood from the head wound that keeps falling on his best friend's eyes and pretends not to have listened because it's easier. He's not Dick Grayson right now, he's Robin and Robin doesn't do _feelings._Robin's stronger than that, Robin is a superhero and he doesn't think about dying or losing people he cares about or everything he so desperately regrets.

"I said you're very mean, Rob." Wally says, and, for a moment, everything is alright. There's no blood, no wounds, no building giving away on them, there's just them and this lighthearted bickering that there ever was and there will ever be.

"You're welcome, you know, for being a good friend and not letting you die." Robin fake scoffs at him, purposely not noticing how his hand still lingers on Wally's face. "Just... Talk to me, dude, come on." He grows worried when his best friend blinks and takes five extremely long seconds to re-open his eyes. "Please."

"What do you wanna talk about?" Wally takes a deep breath, but the air is covered with dust from the explosion and he chokes on it. Robin holds him closer while he coughs, their bodies fitting together like they were meant to, and refuses to let go even when the coughing stops because Wally's heart is drumming off-rhythm against his chest and he needs to be constantly reminded of what he is fighting for.

"Anything." Wally's cheek is cold and wet and Robin can't tell whose tears these are. "How's school?"

"School's boring."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot... It must be so hard to be a genius, right? Poor baby."

"It is." He whines, but the sob that breaks from his lips afterwards kills the light tone he was going for. "But I just..." He sighs and never finishes his sentence.

"Wally." Robin feels his friend's grip on his shoulder loosen and a feeling of dread grows in his stomach. He feels sick, sicker than he'd ever felt in his entire life. "Wally, Wally, hey." There's no answer and the brunet tries nudging him, only to have Wally's arms fall to the side. "No. No, no, no, no, don't your dare." Robin shakes him, forgetting about his own wounds for the horribly long second it takes for the speedster to shift in his arms.

"This hurts, Rob."

"I know it does, but you need to be strong, okay?" Robin laughs and cries and holds him harder. "The team's coming. It's just a while more."

"You've been saying that since forever, I can't..."

"You can. You're Kid Flash, remember? There's nothing you can't do."

Wally laughs, but it's hollow and fake and horrible.

"Yeah, yeah, you're right. So what do you wanna talk about?" He shifts and gets comfortable in the small curve of Robin's neck.

"Tell me what's new with you. Have you been playing any new games?

"There's, uh, there's the new zombie one." His lips brushes against his friend's skin, and the shiver it sends down Robin's spine reminds him they're alive. They're alive and hanging there and that's all that matters. "I played it last week with Dick. We played it all night and fell asleep on top of each other, Dick's so warm and cuddly and he... Did I ever tell you about Dick?"

Robin startles at the name and apologizes when Wally whines at the sudden movement.

"No, you haven't." He steadies his voice and pretends not to be freaking the hell out. "Who's this guy? Is he your friend?" Things weren't supposed to turn out this way. Robin's not very keen on spending the last moments of his life remembering his pathetic and selfish plan of approaching Wally as Dick Grayson and trying to achieve the normal and healthy relationship level that their superhero personas could never have.

Robin could never take his mask off and look at his best friend in the eyes. He could never confide in Wally about his past or the nightmares he had most nights or the Flying Grayson's poster he has in his drawer for years now because he could never bring himself to hang it on his bedroom wall. He could never tell Wally he loved him, he could never grab his face in his hands and kiss the stupid grin off and just show him _how much._Robin could never do any of these, but Dick Grayson could.

Dick could go to Keystone anytime he wanted, he could befriend Wally and flirt with him with stupid pick up lines and ask him out and feel normal and scared and, so, extremely happy when Wally agreed.

"Yeah, I mean... I met him like four months ago and he's really great and funny and handsome and just plain awesome." Wally pauses, taking a moment to muse over the bittersweet taste of his own words. "He's also kind of my boyfriend."

Robin closes his eyes and tells himself he's not going to cry.

"You have a boyfriend? Like, a real one? Does he know?" He forces out a laugh, instead.

"No. I mean, we hooked up often and we made out a lot, but I never asked him, I never told him I... shit, Rob, I'm going to die here and I'll never get to tell Dick how much..."

"Stop that, you're not dying." Wally's growing desperate and Robin shushes him because that's not happening. Ever.

"I never told him." Wally whispers, defeated, and Robin can't take it anymore. Hearing Wally talk about them is like a knife to the heart and he can't do it. He can't, but he will because if that's what it takes to keep Wally talking and alive until they're rescued, it's worth a little more bleeding.

"Look, you just said you two hooked up often, so..." He tries not to think about Wally's lips on his, the soft pressure of Wally's body pressed against his and the small throaty sound he made every time Dick sucked on his earlobe. "I think it's pretty safe to say he knows you like him."

"I don't like him. Dammit, Rob, I think I might love him."

"You what?" Robin thought that you're supposed to die when your heart stops. But he's alive and Wally's alive and Wally loves him. _Wally loves him._

"I love him and I was gonna tell him. I even had a speech prepared, you know?"

"Of course you did." Being Robin and Dick Grayson usually feels like two completely different people, but right now both of them want exactly the same thing; keep his best friend awake so they can get out alive and then kiss Wally to death because Wally loves him _back_. "You're the biggest dork ever."

"It's not like that. I was.. I was going to break up with him."

Robin thought his heart stopped when Wally told him he loved him, but he was wrong. This is the moment it does, the moment he hears Wally say "break up," everything stops; his heart, his brain, his breathing. It all stops, for a second. And then everything explodes.

"Excuse you? I thought you said you loved him? Why would you do that? That's not... That's not fair to.. to him, you can't do that!"

"This is embarrassing." Wally says, the big smile on his face's weak, but persistent, as he raises his hands to Robin's face and brings it closer to his. Robin has a second to wonder if Wally's going to kiss him, another to kick himself for even wondering and then Wally's kissing him. It starts as a soft brush of lips, but as soon as Robin parts his lips and sucks Wally's breath in, it grows desperate, thirsty and craving because _fuck it they're going to die anyway_and that's when the team chooses to show up.

Surprisingly, the timing wasn't as bad as it looked because one second later would be too late and Robin would have probably _died_ from a heart attack or something.

xxx

It's been three days since the rest of the team got them out and Wally's been on the medical bay for two. The broken arm is taking its sweet time, and so is the infection he got from a gash on his leg, but the concussion healed itself first as soon as he was fed. The speedster made a scene when his fever broke; he demanded to be checked out and accused the League members of 'babying him.' But, since he still has some lingering headaches and considering how overprotective The Flash is, this isn't happening any time soon.

Robin's fine, he has a twisted ankle and a few bruises here and there, but nothing too serious. He wanted to go back to superheroing the moment he arrived at Mount Justice and Wally was taken away to intensive care, he wanted to go back out and punch some villains in the face a few times because that was preferable than thinking about what just happened between them. He's fine and that's what he tells Batman, his teammates and himself.

When it fails and no one believes him, he tries to blame it on adrenaline, on Wally's concussion, on anything, really, and when _that_eventually fails, he tries to pretend nothing happened, - especially the kiss. That. Never. Happened. - Because Wally probably won't even remember it and it isn't going to change anything between them.

Except it's all changed already and he can't blame it on anyone but himself. He's the one who came up with the most amazing, ridiculous plan ever and let it all go to shit. He made Wally a part of Dick Grayson's life and pushed all the feelings he had for the redhead to his civilian persona so he could focus on being a superhero without getting distracted by his best friend - and also kind of boyfriend- during missions or training. He's the one that went out of his way to look for Wally at his school, made some shit up and made Wally feel all of these things he just confessed to days ago.

He made Wally love him and then he made Wally want to break up with him. Now he's going to have to respect Wally's wishes and pretend to be surprised when the redhead breaks up with him, as Dick Grayson, and, later, he's going to suck it up and hear all about it, as Robin, because Robin's his best friend who's always there for him and has no reason to be heartbroken or upset or going absolutely crazy.

"Hey" Someone calls him out of his thoughts and he's happy because thinking about Wally is doing him no good and it lasts a whole second before he realizes that Wally was the one who called him and he realizes that talking to Wally is even worse than just thinking about him. "You're benched too?"

"Yup." He shrugs. "Not very whelmed about it, though."

"I know, right?" Wally throws his hands up in the air, in an exasperated manner. "I keep telling everyone I am fine and dying to get back to training. I mean, I broke my arm before and no one gave a shit, but now, since I've almost died or something..." He says it so casually, Robin can't help himself and lets out a chuckle. "...Somehow it's different this time and I'm being immature. It's just not fair." He rolls his eyes and Robin's grin gets even wider because it's funny.

"We did almost die, you know?" Funny how he doesn't want to talk about it and yet he is.

"Whatever." The redhead crosses his arms in front of his chest and scoffs, stubbornly.

"I'm serious, Wally. The team took two and a half hours to find us, they even had to notify the league and ask for backup. How do you think Barry felt when he heard you were last seen running into a collapsing building?" He waits for Wally's anger to break and it doesn't take long. "That was a very stupid move, by the way."

"You were inside." Wally looks away to the ceiling and Robin'd rather smack him in the head and throw him into another collapsing building than to carry on with this conversation, except for the fact that _he would never._

"So what?" He takes a deep breath when Wally stares at him. Wally goes from _what did you say?_to _what the fuck did you say!_in less than a second and the change in his eyes fuels Robin to keep going. If Wally wants to go there, they'll go there. "Do you know how quicker the search party would have been if they had two speedsters? How much time and energy it would have saved everyone?"

"You could have died!" Wally yells at him.

"And so what?" Robin realizes he's yelling too when he sees the other flinch away and he tries to calm down. He had no idea he was this angry, but if they keep this going, someone will probably come in to check them and no, thanks. "Wally, you made a decision on the spur of the moment and it was bad. Sacrificing yourself is never on the list of things to do when the situation suddenly turns sour. Remember the simulation? Aqualad's hero stunt and how it fucked everything up, he shouldn't...

"Well, I'm sorry!" Wally snaps and cuts him off. "Except I'm not really and I'd do it again if I could. Protecting people I care about is one of the reasons I became a hero and if I can't, what's the point? I might as well give Kid Flash up."

The "people I care about" part is easily ignored because Robin's too busy freaking out over everything else Wally just said. He's freaking the hell out because _no._That wasn't where this conversation was supposed to go. No. Wally's not supposed to stop being Kid Flash because, if he does, at the same time he breaks it off with Dick Grayson, when will they get together again? It will get harder and harder for them to meet, they won't be friends anymore and Dick is so tired of losing people.

"I'm sorry." He chokes out. "That's not what I mean, that's not what I want, that's the opposite of what I want, Wally." His eyes are getting teary, but the mask's still on so it's safe. "It's just... Sorry, I guess almost dying kind of fucked me up." He doesn't say _again_but he's pretty sure Wally heard it because the redhead takes his hand in his.

"No, Rob. I'm the one who's sorry, you know, for snapping on you like that." His thumb's absently caressing his best friend's hand while he closes his eyes and ponders what he wants to say next. "Look, I love being Kid Flash, I love being a hero and I know I can be very immature most of the time, but, I know what it all entails. I know what sacrifice means and how much my actions weights. So, getting in that building wasn't an on the spur of the moment thing, it was a choice, one I made a long time ago and I don't regret it. I have no regrets, at all. So, please, respect that."

"Okay." Robin breathes out and squeezes his hand back. The gesture brings a smile to Wally's face and, consequently, one to his own face because Wally's smile is ridiculous, it's contagious and probably fatal.

"Besides, we're getting kind of good at dying together, don't you think?"

That's it. That's Robin's cue to laugh at him, call him _Kid Dork,_give him a slight push on the shoulder and leave. But he doesn't.

"You said no regrets and yet I seem to remember something you said to me, then. You regret something about..." He knows what he's about to say next and he's pleasantly surprised by it. " Your boyfriend, Dick Grayson, is it?"

"Rob." Wally shakes his head and _dares_to look away again.

"Yeah, that's right. Dick Grayson, he's the boy you love, but apparently can't wait to break up with. Very contradictory feelings you're having, Walls. Do you want my help to figure them out? Maybe if we kissed again, it would somehow make it easier for you?" He doesn't know where this anger's coming from, but he's definitely not stopping it. It's better to let it all out now than to let it consume him over the years and slowly ruining everything between the both of them. He doesn't want to pretend it never happened, he wants to know why it did. He wants answers and he's going to get them now.

Wally lefts out an indignant huff and turns back to him.

"Fine. You know what? There was really something I regretted and I was planning on ignoring it and never bringing it up again, but since it's out, I suppose it's better if we get it over with." He says and then he's kissing Robin again.

Robin's furious. He's absolutely furious, tired and confused, but he's also kissing Wally back. Using one knee as support, he climbs the med bay's bed and is on top of the speedster. Midway through the kiss, everything clicks and, when they break apart for air, Robin asks:

"How long did you know?" He's a little embarrassed for taking so long to figure it out, he's partner to world's best detective and all the signs have been staring him right in the face, for goodness sake. Wally knows he's Dick Grayson, he knows Robin's been playing him the entire time and he's so mad he wants to break up, despite declaring he loves him. Also, that explains all the kissing. The logic is simple, it makes sense and Dick tells himself he took this long only because he was emotionally compromised and _that_is Wally's fault, not his.

Wally looks at him and _laughs._This is not the response he was expecting.

"Rob, you're my best friend and I know you. I've never seen your eyes, but I know your voice and your hair and your hands and the way you bite your lower lip when you're concentrating really hard on something. I knew it was you from day one." The redhead sighs and, for the first time since he woke up in the med bay, he seems tired. "I was going to break up with you for being a jerk and for lying to me and for thinking I was stupid enough to fall for it."

_This_was the response he was expecting and Robin slowly takes the mask off and drops it by the counter.

"Why didn't you stop me?"

"At first I thought playing along could be fun, you know, to teach you a lesson? But then things got a little complicated and I just... I couldn't stop. I mean, I wanted to put an end to it, I did, but I was afraid you'd be mad at me for lying to you and letting things get this far, I... I was terrified of losing you." Wally isn't looking him in the eyes, but, this time Robin can't really blame him.

"Oh, that's funny. KF, the only reason I started the whole thing was because I was afraid of losing you." Robin sits next to him and throws his head back, letting it rest against the wall. He understands this feeling of being scared and being ashamed of how scared he actually was and then feeling guilty for not getting over it. "Who wants a best friend who keeps lying to you? A best friend you can never know the name of or look into his eyes? I couldn't tell you my secret ID and I was terrified you'd start to resent me for it so I got desperate and determined to find a loophole. I thought approaching you as Dick Grayson and becoming your friend as civilians was it."

When Wally doesn't comment on it, he takes a deep breath and continues:

"Look, deep down I knew it was a ridiculous plan and that it would never work, but I... I think I only went along with it because some part of me actually hoped it would fail and you'd bust me? I mean, I trust you, Walls, with my life. You're my best friend and lying to you all this time was killing me."

"So you decided that, to stop lying to me, you had to lie to me a whole lot more?" Wally looks more amused than angry and that's a good sign, right?

"Not the best course of action, I know it now. I mean, I've always had feelings for you, but as Robin I had zero chances. Richard Grayson, on the other hand..."

"Well, okay, Dick Grayson is hot, I'll give you that. Plus, he goes after what he wants and has beautiful eyes."

"Thanks, but..." Robin scoffs and slowly bangs the back of his head against the wall. "Since we're confessing, let me tell share something: it was a nightmare being Dick Grayson around you, dude. Pretending I didn't know you and trying to act casual and avoid being creepy? Most difficult shit I had to endure and I live in _Gotham._I mean, Barbara had to scowl me for liking all your facebook posts. She said I was coming on too strong and I just, ugh." He buries his face in his hands and only comes out because Wally intertwines their fingers together and makes him.

"Yeah, I remember it. Watching you struggle was the fun part. Also making out with you. Very fun." He raises his eyebrows suggestively and Robin blushes. "The not so fun part was, you know, all the lies." But the smile turns quickly into a frown and Robin's sorry.

"I'm so sorry." He truly is. But, before he can allow himself to drown in self-pity, Wally punches his shoulder with his free hand.

"Hey, I'm sorry too, okay? You weren't the only one who lied, you know? God, we're horrible people. And, so stupid! I mean, bro, I've always liked you, as you know, more than a friend. We could have been making out the entire time we've been pining over each other, like, oh my god, I'm getting mad just thinking about it." He offers a shy smile in the end and Robin can't believe it because Wally West is never shy.

"That's what you're mad about? Wally, I've just spent the last few months tricking you into becoming my boyfriend instead of, I don't know, talking to you, like the best friend I'm supposed to be?"

"Dude, okay, we've started it all wrong and made a lot of appalling choices, but we're finally talking. It's a step in the right direction and it's not too late for us to fix this, is it?" The shy smile persists and the boy wonder finally sees it for what it is; a small miracle.

Robin falls a little more in love with him at this moment and _how._

"I mean, you like me and I like you and I'd like to try it. You know, a relationship. If you want to, of course."

"Love." Robin bites on his smile and Wally blinks at him.

"What?"

"Love, not like. You love me. That was what you've said last night, remember?"

"Dude, I was concussed, you know better than to hold me accountable for what concussed me said." Wally lets go of his hand and uses it in a big, overly dramatic gesture.

"Fine, I won't hold it against you, but are you sure you want to start a relationship with a lie? Hasn't all this drama taught you anything?"

"I... ugh, fine, okay, you win. I do love you, Dick, Please don't run away." Before Wally can look away, Robin takes his face in his hands and bring it closer to him.

"Hey, I'm Robin, the boy wonder, I'm not afraid of anything." He offers him both a tiny kiss and a tiny lie. "Much less of being loved." Another kiss and another lie and he's aware of what he just said about lies being bad at the beginning of a relationship, but he can't help it. "Also, I love you too." Not a lie this time and Wally's the one who kisses him.


End file.
